Title: Sleep Without Sorrow
Author: Misty4me
Pairing: Beckett/Sheppard/McKay
Rating: G
Summary: Carson’s personal goodbye helps everyone after the Siege.
Carson smiled softly and his eyes twinkled as he held the cuiach by its handles and offered Rodney a sip from the bowl. He could just see the wheels in the other man’s head turning, “It’s scotch, Rodney, ye’ll not be getting any germs.”
The line moved on, Carson continued to greet people as the came in, carrying food and other small items. Most gathered around the tables where the food was being laid out for later. Others stood at the end of the pier, looking at the table that had been set up there or out over the water.
Carson looked around, Elizabeth had shown up, and John. It looked like all of the original expedition members and most of the Athosians had come. He ought to be annoyed but he couldn’t find it in his heart to.
He’d gone to Teyla for help, just wanting his own way to mark their passing. She’d been glad to help, asking one of the potters to make the bowl he’d drawn, finding musicians for him, having a candle made. The other supplies were simple, just some fruit and nuts from the mainland, evergreen boughs that smelled like home, nothing elaborate. He hadn’t meant it to be a secret, not really, just hadn’t thought anyone else would feel the need.
As the sun began to set, a few of the Athosians moved among them, offering bowls with the simple blessing “Savor the sweetness of life.” John dipped his finger in the honey and touched it to his tongue. He thought about riding death into the sky, about feeling it eat him from deep inside his bones. It was sweet to be alive.
Rodney dipped his finger in the salt, “Taste the sharpness of death and loss.” The sweetness still on his tongue made the salt all that much more bitter. He saw their faces, Grodin, Dumais, Lindstrom, Gaul, all the others. He didn’t want to forget them.
Teyla started moving among the crowd, urging those who had mementos to put them at the candlelit altar. Radek walked up, placing Miko’s glasses there. The cool night air, made candles flicker across the pictures and trinkets. They spread out, covering the knotted wood surface, spilled onto the dark metal of Atlantis…faces, cherished items, names and words hastily scribbled on paper carefully placed so they wouldn’t blow away.
Carson stepped up then, in front of them and spoke, “I want to thank you all for coming tonight.” Even up to a few minutes ago he hadn’t wanted to share this, but now, looking at the sea of them, he realized that he’d been wrong, Oh he’d still have his own private goodbye, it would just have to wait. He closed his eyes and began to recite,
Manannan, a Thírna nan cheó
éist le ár ghuí agus osclaím nan n-geatai bíseanna
Manannan, a Loingseoir Mhór
Stiúradh sinn,
Más é do thoil é, spré do clóca-cheó
agus beirmo caraich a Tír na n-Óg.
Manannan, Lord of Mist,
Hear our prayer and open the Spiraled Gate.
Manannan, Great Navigator,
Steer us,
If it please you, spread your mist-cloak
and bear away our friends to Tir na n-Óg.
Everyone had heard a word of Gaelic slip out here and there, it happened more often when Carson was stressed. A habit he’d acquired in medical school. Even in his own land the language of the forefathers was almost gone. No one had heard him speak the tongue, heard the beauty of it, the power and mystery wrapped in the words. Here, tonight, in a city older than their history, the language of his ancestors seemed like the right choice.
From behind the crowd a solemn drumbeat started, followed by a low mournful tune played on a single wooden flute, soft on the air. The tune was sad, turning their thoughts to the ones not there, the days they would never have together, the memories of other times and other places. It was a traditional Athosian tune, one he’d heard in the village and thought it sounded much like some of the music from his homeland. The Athosians, though, were not given to dwelling on their losses, and so the music was joined by higher, lighter voices, flutes that danced tunes around each other, medium and high, reveling in the joy of living each day.
The tune ended as the sun blazed its amazing colors across the western horizon. Everyone held their breath, almost waiting to see the souls drifting off to the land of the dead. Three voices began to chant, joined by Carson’s mellow baritone as he sang.
Thu dol dhachaidh an nochd do'n t-sior thigh Geamhraidh
Do'n t-sior thigh Foghair is Earrach is Samhraidh
Thu dol dhachaidh an noch an seirm nan Filidh
'S geal deithe 'gad fheithemh air bruaich Tír na n-Óg
Manannan Maraiche 'na do shuain
Brighid ban-leighis 'na do shuain
Gach eile deithe 'na do shuain
The words drifted out over the water.
Caidil a luaidh an uchd do Mhathar
Caidil a luaidh 's i fein 'gad thaladh
Cadal a' Fhionn an uchd na h-oighe
Caidil e caidil e 's dhiot gach bròn
Hands joined as friends remembered.
Tha duibhr' a' bhàis-chadail a luadh 'na do shùil
Ach caidil gu ciuin
Caidil gu ciuin
Caidil gu ciuin
An ainm na deithe slan le do phiantan
Manannan air tighinn 's tha sith 'na do ghnuis
O Manannan air tighinn 's tha sith 'na do ghnuis
The last of the notes slipped away and Carson walked to the altar, using a taper to light the wide low pillar that sat between baskets of fruit and nuts. Closing his eyes, he daid his goodbyes, to Peter, to Miko, Jeannie, his morning shift nurse, Ramirez, the cook who always kidded him about his tea. He turned, looking at Elizabeth and drew her forward, Handing her a taper, he lit it from his, passing the light along as he set his burning candle in a holder and walked back to the crowd.
As big as the group was, it took a while for all of them to pay their respects. When the last of the candles had been placed at the altar, the music started up again, this time joyful and soothing. The dead were to be remembered with happiness, their lives honored, their sacrifices given value by embracing life.
Carson leaned with his arms on the railing off to the edge of the crowd, watching the candles that hadn’t already burned out on the altar. John slid in behind him, pressed warm against his back. “You’re quiet.”
“Just thinking, luv.”
“You do that too much.” Rodney had followed John over.
“Look who’d talking.”
“You’re just jealous, flyboy.” He took up a post on the other side of Carson, laying a hand on his arm.
“Right.”
“Hey… smart, good in bed, Canadian. Everyone should want to be me.”
“Ach, now there’s a thought to scare the kiddies with.”
“HEY!” John laughed at the two. Mission accomplished.
Elizabeth wandered over, interrupting before Rodney could start a rant. “Carson, that was lovely.” He blushed, a bit flustered, “I hope you don’t mind. I dinna mean to insult your memorial service, Elizabeth.”
Rodney tightened his hold on Carson’s arm while John held him firmly. “No offense taken. I needed it. This was….my personal goodbye.” All three men relaxed.
"Thank you for coming.”
“I didn’t know you spoke Gaelic.”
“Me mum’s a bit of a cultural fanatic.”
“Still, it was lovely. Translate the song for me?”
He thought about it for a minute. “This isn’t exact, but it should give you the sense of it."
You're going home tonight to the house of Winter
To the house of Autumn and Spring and Summer
You're going home tonight on the music of poets
White Gods await you on Tír na n-Óg's shores
Manannan, Sea-guide with you in sleep
Brighid the Healer with you in sleep
All other deities with you in sleep
Sleep my dearest on the breast of your Mother
Sleep my dearest though you love this place
Sleep of Fionn on the breast of the night
Sleep, o sleep without any sorrow
The darkness of death-sleep, my love, is in your eyes
But sleep gently
Sleep gently
Sleep gently
In the name of the Gods, a cure for your pain
Manannan's come bringing peace to your face
O Manannan's come bringing peace to your face
The crowd was drifting away, Teyla’s people had volunteered to stay and clean up, a few of the Atlanteans pitching in. Weir took in the three men, their tired faces and the worry lines that had appeared in the last few months. “Go home gentlemen.” And for tonight at least, sleep without sorrow.
You can find more information on the ritual in the story here... http://www.manannan.net/ritual/m